This Now Is Yours
by winter156
Summary: Happy endings are elusive dreams in a world of harsh realities
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This idea has been bouncing around my head for a while. There will definitely be more chapters (I'm not sure how many at the moment), but I wanted to post this up and see if there's any interest for this sort of story.

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**This Now Is Yours**

The information floored Shepard. She stared dumbfounded at Doctor Chakwas.

"Do the test again," she commanded not looking at the doctor.

Doctor Chakwas released a long suffering sigh, but she put a comforting hand on the younger woman's shoulder waiting for the worried eyes to meet hers before speaking, "We have run the test twice already, Commander. There was no mistake."

"There must be," the frantic tone lacing the words was one the doctor had never heard before from the taciturn superior. Shepard dropped her head into her hands; hands that gripped her head in desperation. "I mean I haven't even _looked,_ much less _touched_ anyone but Liara in the past five years," Shepard tried to find an explanation to her predicament, "and before that I hadn't been with anyone for a long while." Confused eyes turned up to pierce the doctor with a miserable gaze, "How is this possible?"

Unable to contain the mad energy filling her, Shepard stood to pace. The confined space of the Medical Bay afforded her little room to vent her frustration but she made up for the limited space by doubling her speed. Doctor Chakwas sat and watched in amazement as the woman who stood unflinchingly against the threat of annihilation of all advanced sentient life in the galaxy had a mild meltdown at the news of an impending child. "Oh god," Shepard's hands swept roughly through her hair, "what am I going to do?" Hands normally reserved for handling weapons gestured frantically through the air. Shepard paced, each step emphasizing her increasingly frantic questions. "What am I supposed to tell everyone? How do I explain this?" She stopped dead, her face paling as if she considered something that heretofore had escaped her mind, "What am I going to tell Liara?"

She looked at the doctor in abject horror. If anyone else had stood before the Commander, Karin knew the soldier would not have uttered a word past requesting a reexamination. But, they were more than superior and subordinate. They were friends. Close friends. Karin had stood steadfastly by Shepard through Saren and Sovereign, the Collectors and Cerberus, the Reapers and galactic annihilation. She knew Shepard had a handful of people she trusted with her emotions; and she was honored to be one of the few. Seeing the woman who felt like a daughter in such turmoil touched her, the doctor's heart went out to this woman whom she respected deeply and held a great affection toward. "The truth would perhaps be the best course of action," the doctor said very gently.

Shepard laughed mirthlessly, the hollow sound bouncing off the metal walls and reverberating back to her ears in mockery. "What is the truth?" Hands swept roughly through her hair. "I have questions but no answers," her voice cracked, "What am I supposed to tell Liara?" Shepard reiterated desperately. "Hey, babe, guess what? I'm pregnant. No, I haven't slept with anyone but you. I know it's perfectly impossible, since I'm in a monogamous relationship with an asari, but shit happens right." She looked at the doctor, her teeth gritted fighting the sudden onset of tears. Shepard closed her eyes and took a cleansing breath, "I hate being so damned emotional."

"It does come with the territory," the doctor blandly injected.

The soldier moved to take the seat across from the doctor, she sat heavily. Resting her elbows on her knees and letting her hands hang between her legs she stared at the floor letting silence reign for a minute. The doctor waited, knowing the woman would speak when she was ready. "I never expected this," Shepard heaved wearily.

"Children?" Doctor Chakwas probed.

"No," the Commnader shook her head, "I want children. We want children. But Liara isn't quite ready yet. Hell, I'm not ready yet." At the doctor's nod, she continued, "You realize we have only known each other five years. God, it seems like a lifetime but it's only been five years," Shepard stared at her hands, "And, if I count only the time we have actually been together, it's only been a little over a year. How is our relationship going to bear the strain of this, Karin?"

"Have you considered that you may be pregnant with Liara's child?" The doctor reached out and enveloped Shepard's closest hand with her own, offering what support she could. "It is more plausible than immaculate conception, Shepard."

"It is," the Commander agreed, looking up to meet the doctor's kind eyes, "but, I'm more worried that it is something," she licked her lips nervously, "more sinister."

"How so?" Trepidation gripped Doctor Chakwas.

"Cerberus," Shepard's voice was flat, "or the Reapers." She unconsciously tightened her grip on the hand in hers, "Cerberus could have done something, planted something, in me when they put me back together. Or, the Reapers could have done something while I was on the Crucible. There is time I cannot account for in both scenarios. And, that is what really terrifies me." Her eyes skidded away from the doctor's. "I don't think I can bring something like that into the world, Karin," she whispered, her voice breaking.

Doctor Chakwas inhaled sharply, but said nothing for a moment. "Genetics aren't the only defining factor in a child's life, Shepard," she finally spoke, her tone even, measured to lay out the facts, "upbringing and environment matter a great deal. You found out about this only moments ago. Take time to think about what you really want to do. Don't make any rash decisions," she waited for the soldier's eyes to turn back to hers, "I suggest before you decide anything, have a paternity test done. If it is Liara's child, I'm sure this will be a cause for celebration."

Shepard nodded slowly. "You have mine and Liara's DNA on file," she squeezed the hand in hers one final time before releasing it, "take what you need from me and then do the test." She made her way to the examination table. Laying down, she stared sightlessly at the gray ceiling, "Don't send these results to Alliance Command, Doctor. And don't leave any traceable data on the extranet or any private lines. This needs to be kept secret for the time being. I wouldn't want the Shadow Broker, or anybody else, getting a hold of this information."

"You're not going to tell Liara?" The doctor tried to hide her surprise.

Shepard could not meet the shocked eyes above her, "Not yet."

Expelling a sigh, the doctor rubbed her forehead. "To do as you ask, I'm going to have to do everything myself and in the most rudimentary way," she informed the Commander, "that means instead of hours, we are looking at days for the results." Shepard nodded, closing her eyes as the doctor got down to business.

Pulling the gloves off after the relatively quick procedure Doctor Chakwas tossed them in the biohazard waste. She waited for the Commander to dress. "Shepard," she caught the soldier's attention before she left the Med Bay, "after you see the results, if you do decide you don't want the child, I will do the procedure."

"Thank you, Karin," relief filled Shepard's voice.

"Commander," the voice stopped Shepard but she did not turn, "this is not something you should keep from Liara."

"I'll keep that under advisement, Doctor," she said stepping through the now open door. Not looking around, the Commander headed directly for the elevator. She had told Liara she would stop by her office after she met with Doctor Chakwas, but she could not bring herself to face her lover at the moment. She knew the asari would see right through her. She needed time to think, to put her thoughts together, to figure out what to say.

"EDI," she spoke to the woman staring at the mural of names in front of the elevator, "ride with me." The AI joined her without a word. "How much did you hear?" Shepard asked without preamble once the elevator closed.

"Everything," EDI concisely answered, aware of the need for brevity and directness.

"You will assist Doctor Chakwas and verify her results are accurate," Shepard instructed, "keep everything clear of the extranet and do not share the information with anyone."

"I will do all I can to help," EDI replied, not knowing how else to comfort the obviously upset woman. "Shepard," she wanted to ease some of the weariness that pressed on the Commander's shoulders, but she was not practiced in the skill and she was only newly aware of the desire to ease others burdens. Somehow, when the Commander looked at her she understood and nodded even as EDI reiterated, "I will do all I can."

Exiting at the CIC, Shepard immediately began giving orders, "Traynor, find and request Miranda Lawson's presence on board the Normandy. I need her on an urgent matter regarding Cerberus. Use your most sophisticated encryption code when sending the message."

"Anything else, Commander," the scientist did not even bat an eye.

"Also, request Admiral Shepard's presence at our next destination, which we will forward once we have reached it," she further instructed.

"Aye, aye, ma'am ," Traynor was already typing the messages.

Shepard walked to the bridge wearily. She stood a moment staring out at the passing stars.

"Did you come up here for something specific, or just to be broody and creepy behind me," Joker shot at her without even turning.

"Send word to Admiral Hackett that we will be delayed," Shepard finally spoke, "and set a course for the nearest habitable planet. Forward the coordinates to the Orizaba and inform me when we land."

"Playing hooky, I like it," Joker turned to see Shepard already walking away. "Uh, okay," he said to no one in particular. He watched as the woman walked away, and he intuitively knew something was not right. Turning he moved his hand and hesitated a moment above a button as he considered whether he should or should not interfere with whatever was going on with Shepard. Making the decision, he pushed the button. "Liara," he said in a serious tone that immediately caught the asari's attention, "I think you need to check on Shepard."

_TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you for all the kind reviews!

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**Chapter 2**

Liara's fingers deftly flew over the keyboard without her conscious thought. She catalogued the data streaming in from every active corner of the galaxy. The communications buoys, along with the mass relays, had only recently been restored and the Shadow Broker was in more demand than even before the war. The asari was diverting a good percentage of the incoming data to Feron. The drell had set up a rudimentary, but efficient, outpost on Laena that would stay hidden until the asari decided what she wanted to do with the Shadow Broker network.

At the moment, however, what Liara's hands were doing, and the entire network held at her fingertips were the furthest thing from her mind. Her considerable concentration was fixedly narrowed on the Normandy, and on one particular occupant of the ship.

The asari had noted the changes happening in Shepard even before the human herself. She was the one that soothed Shepard when she was bent over the toilet retching up the contents of her stomach. She was the one that noted the weariness and physical exhaustion that would not leave the human. She was the one that wiped away the tears and calmed the nightmares that haunted the woman. She was the one that felt the first stirring of life in Shepard six weeks before; and the definite presence of life three weeks before.

Liara was no xenobiologist but she knew what she had felt when she and Shepard made love. When their consciousnesses were one, the asari could feel the press of a fragile, developing mind. So, she had researched human pregnancy to confirm her suspicions. The scientist had subtly urged Shepard to go see Doctor Chakwas to confirm for the human what she herself already knew.

The information broker had not expected the cold thread of fear that swept uneasily down her spine as Shepard walked out of the Med Bay with a blank face and frantic eyes. In an effort to give the human a semblance of privacy, Liara had shut down the feed to the doctor's area of the ship and was trusting Shepard to inform her of what they had discussed. The asari could not help the quick and sharp stab of pain that pierced her heart as she watched the Commander walk away from the direction of her office.

Blue eyes tracked the Commander's movement across the ship from screen to screen. She saw Shepard board the elevator with EDI; she heard the quick exchange and the heavy undertones of the words. She saw Shepard's stiff, tense posture as she delivered orders to Specialist Traynor. She saw each weary step as she made her way to the bridge and gave terse orders to Joker.

"Liara," the asari distantly heard the pilot's voice, though the worry etched itself into her consciousness, "I think you need to check on Shepard."

The asari's eyes continued to be fixed on the human as the soldier moved back to the elevator and momentarily hesitated over the controls. Liara's heart lurched in a very uncomfortable way when Shepard pushed the button to her private quarters instead of the button to reach the floor where her office was located. "I don't think she wants to see me right now," Liara whispered to herself voice cracking.

Liara looked down at hands that had stopped moving sometime during her observation of the Commander. Forcing herself out of her stupor, Liara ignored her desire to go to the human. They had agreed Shepard would come see her after Doctor Chakwas' examination. It was obvious the human did not want to see her at the moment. She swallowed against the uncharacteristic urge to cry that gesture caused.

Attempting to submerge herself in the information streaming across the wall of screens in front of her only distracted the asari for a short while. The insistent pull to go to Shepard was overwhelming. The soldier had seemed so tense, so worried. Sighing, Liara closed the feeds that did not need immediate attention and routed the critical ones to Feron.

Unsure if she was doing the right thing, the asari warily made her way up to the Commander's private quarters: their quarters. She stepped out of the elevator and stopped short. The door was locked. She stood in the small hallway uncertainty gripping her. The door was never locked unless they were both in the room together. The asari knew she could enter the room regardless, she had authorization, but the question was not if she could but if she should. Still unsure but the irresistible need to see if Shepard was alright pulling her, Liara unlocked the door and moved gracefully into the room.

Immediately spotting the soldier, the asari moved to the far end of the room. Sitting gingerly on the bed, Liara reached out and put a comforting hand on the human's arm. The instant stiffening and almost flinch her touch elicited from the woman felt like a slap in the face. She immediately pulled back her hand as if burned. Hands balled into fists as she turned to face the wall opposite where she sat. Shepard, with her back to her, faced the opposite wall.

"What did Doctor Chakwas say?" Liara tried to keep her inner turmoil out of her voice. Hearing her cool tone bounce lightly off the metal bulkheads, she was pleased there was no tremble in her voice.

"She's running some tests," came Shepard's weary and vague response.

Liara waited for more information to be divulged, when none was forthcoming she released a heavy sigh. She was an information broker. An exceptional information broker. The asari could dig out any information, from any source, through any means. But, she did not want that to be how the communicated. From the human she wanted trust; she wanted the give and take of a relationship. Swallowing the lump in her throat, trying to quiet the pain in her heart, Liara stood. She stood still not knowing exactly what to do for a moment. The whole room seemed to be holding its breath awaiting her decision.

Heaving another sigh, the asari sat back down. She could not walk away from Shepard, no matter how much her silence hurt. Laying on her back, arms placed on either side of her, she looked up at the inky depths of endless space. "Serious?" She asked quietly, eyes fixed on the sight above her.

Shepard shifted so she was on her back as well. She placed her hand on Liara's closest hand, releasing a breath she had not realized she was holding when the asari entwined their fingers and gently squeezed. "It may be," Shepard responded just as quietly. Turning to face Liara, the soldier studied the asari's beautiful profile, heart constricting at the possibility of losing everything they had.

"We will get through this together, Shepard," Liara reassured, now facing Shepard as well. Blue eyes were open, warm, showering the Commander with love. The human could also see the strain the silence was causing the asari.

Shepard swallowed nervously. Her heart beat wildly in her chest and her stomach was tied in knots. She felt sick; and not at all brave enough to voice the truth. "Liara," she closed her eyes against any negative reaction her words were sure to cause and licked her dry lips, "I'm, uh," she ineloquently tripped over her own tongue, "I'm…"

"Commander," Joker unknowingly interrupted, "we are coming planet side. The Orizaba has already sent a shuttle carrying Admiral Shepard groundside."

"Duty calls?" Liara sighed silently releasing Shepard's hand.

"No," the human said standing, "I just needed to see my mom." She looked down at the asari, extending her hand, "Wanna come?"

Liara took the offered hand and nodded. They walked silently down to the armory where each picked up a pistol but did not bother to outfit themselves in armor. Cortez did not make small talk as the trio disembarked from the cargo hold. They landed near the admiral's shuttle; the pilot of which informed them that the elder Shepard had taken a stroll into the nearby wood that surrounded the small town.

"I'll go pick up some supplies while you talk to your mother," Liara supplied reluctantly. She did not want to be separated from the soldier but she knew Shepard needed to be alone with her mother for a few moments.

The Commander nodded her agreement, "We won't be long." The human pulled the asari to her and placed a soft, chaste kiss to her lips in reassurance before walking after the admiral.

Eden Prime. Shepard looked around and really looked at the beauty around her for the first time. She had been on this planet twice; and both times she had been too busy fighting to notice the scenery. It was a paradise. She was pleased it had survived the war essentially untouched. The Reapers had passed through this part of the galaxy in a hurry. She walked through lush greenery and sloping hills allowing the peacefulness of the place to envelop her and seep some of the weariness from her.

Walking into the copse of trees, Shepard spotted her mother sitting on a stone wall just on the other side of the tree line. Moving slowly, relaxing more each step of the way, the soldier made sure to make enough noise not to startle the other woman. Easily vaulting the wall and coming to stand before the admiral, Shepard found herself suddenly enveloped in a tight embrace.

"Sweetheart, I have missed you," Hannah held on instinctively knowing her girl needed to be comforted.

"I've missed you, too," Shepard managed to get out through the sudden tightening of her throat. She melted into her mother's embrace.

"Let me look at you," Hannah pulled back a smile on her face as she looked her daughter over. Her smile dimmed at the look in Shepard's eyes, "What's wrong?" The admiral made another quick inspection of her daughter, the young woman rolled her eyes at the scrutiny but her lips quirked up at the reminder of her youth.

"You're pregnant," came the shocked, but certain, statement. "How did Liara get you pregnant?"

"I don't know," Shepard gaped at the admiral, "How did you know I was pregnant?"

"You're glowing," Hannah smirked.

"Mom," the soldier elongated the word reminding Hannah of when she was much younger, "I am not glowing. And even if I was, that is definitely not a good reason to jump to such a farfetched conclusion."

"You are," at the raised eyebrow, the admiral continued, "glowing." Shepard rolled her eyes. "But," Hannah continued, "I suspect there are very few reasons why you would delay meeting Hackett and request my immediate assistance on a personal matter. Since you didn't tell me Liara was dead, or something equally terrible, I assumed either you or Liara were giving me grandchildren. You just confirmed it."

"Sneaky," the Commander was impressed.

"I did earn this rank you know," Hannah smiled. "Though, I'll be honest, I did think it would be Liara having the children."

"It is a bit impossible for her to get me pregnant," Shepard breathed out shaking her head as Hannah sat them both down on the wall behind them.

"Baby, you came back from the dead, you survived a suicide mission with your entire team intact, you cured the genophage, you brokered a peace between the Quarians and the Geth, you united the galaxy, you defeated the Reapers," Hannah said with a mother's pride shining through, "you have made the impossible possible. And you've made it look easy. I highly doubt the small feat of producing and carrying an asari child would be impossible for you. Hell, birthing that child won't even rank among the impossible things you've done."

"But, that's just it mom," Shepard said exasperated with nothing and everything, "this child would not be asari. At least, not entirely. And it wouldn't be entirely human, either. It would be something else completely."

"You're scared," Hannah said surprise coloring her voice, "that this child is Liara's."

Shepard wanted to deny and refute the very idea, but that was essentially the root of her problem. "Terrified," she admitted, her shoulders slumping, "more than if it turns out to be any other reason."

"Why?" Hannah asked, truly curious as to why her daughter feared what seemed wonderful to her.

"Because mom," Shepard looked out to the far off mountains, "she would not only be shackled by the expectations of mine and Liara's names; but, she would also be ostracized by virtue of her birth. She would feel alone and unable to relate to any other species. She would be the only one of her kind."

"Sweetheart," the admiral's tone was gentle, soothing and slightly teasing, "you know there's an easy remedy to that," her daughter's eyes turned to her, "just have more than one."

Shepard snorted in amusement, "Mom, you're supposed to be helping not cracking jokes."

Hannah laughed and bumped her daughter's shoulder happy to finally see a real smile on the young woman's face. "You know that it is completely natural to worry," the admiral said after a moment, "There won't ever be a time when you won't worry for her health, her decisions, her future and a million other things completely out of your control. But, it will turn out okay. Kids have tremendous resilience. And, in all honesty, I can't think of a single person in this entire galaxy who would mess with your kid. You have a verifiable army that would tear anybody apart if they so dared."

"I would tear anybody apart, army or not," Shepard nearly growled, already protective of the child growing inside of her. "But, she's going to be so different," Shepard sounded lost again.

"You do good with different," Hannah reminded, "No other Alliance officer has rallied teams of such varying diversity. I'm going to venture a guess that no other individual has done what you did in amassing the best the galaxy has to offer regardless of species. I don't think anyone else would qualify to be this baby's mother but you."

"I still have concerns that it may not be Liara's child at all," Shepard dropped her head onto Hannah's shoulder.

"Regardless of paternity, the child would still be yours," Hannah said with certainty, "and I have no doubt Liara would accept it as her own, as well."

"I haven't told her," Shepard whispered against her mother's shoulder.

A long moment of silence passed in which Hannah's mind flashed a thousand answers to her daughter's unasked question. She kissed Shepard's forehead, "Trust her."

"I think she suspects," the Commander voiced a suspicion, "or, most likely, already knows. She probably knew before I did."

"There isn't much that gets by that asari of yours," Hannah agreed, "but knowing and having you tell her are two completely different things. The former means she's good at what she does, the latter means you trust her to carry your burdens with you."

Sitting up, Shepard looked Hannah in the eyes, "Have you always been this wise?"

The admiral's eyes sparkled with humor, "I've come by these gray hairs honestly; earned every one of them."

The young woman smiled. Standing she offered the admiral her hand, Hannah took it. Looping their arms together, the duo walked back to their shuttles hand in hand.

Liara watched their approach carefully, happy to note the tension on the Commander's frame seemed considerably less. The asari stood and walked leisurely to meet them. "Admiral Shepard," she spoke with genuine warmth a smile spreading her lips, "a pleasure to see you."

"Hannah, please," the admiral gently admonished, disengaging from her daughter and gently hugging the asari. "Keep my daughter safe," the admiral whispered before releasing Liara.

"Always," the information broker promised.

Hannah turned back to her daughter and gave her a tight hug, which Shepard returned wholeheartedly. "Everything is going to change, isn't it?" She asked eyes closed as she breathed in the comforting scent of the woman who made all her childhood memories sweet.

The admiral pulled back and placed a soft kiss on her daughter's cheek, "Yes, but it will be for the better."

_TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

Cortez watched the Commander and the archeologist board the shuttle and sit stiffly next to each other. Shepard folded her arms across her chest, leant back to rest her head against the hull and closed her eyes. He silently observed uncertainty flash across the asari's face as she looked at the closed off human before shaking her head and releasing a quiet sigh. Liara rested her elbows on her knees (the position automatically leaning her forward), twined her hands and bowed her head. They were as far as they could get from each while sitting next to each other. He sighed.

The ride back to the Normandy was silent.

Stowing their weapons was also an oddly quiet affair until Traynor approached the duo apprehensively.

"Uh, Commander," the specialist nodded to Shepard before her eyes flitted nervously to the asari. "Dr. T'Soni," Traynor swallowed thickly her eyes looking everywhere but at Liara.

"Specialist Traynor," Liara greeted indifferently, her manners not allowing her to completely disregard the woman.

Shepard would have been amused at the exchange had she not been so emotionally drained. Even so, her curious nature briefly wondered what exactly had happened between the doctor and the specialist to cause such a cautiously terrified reaction from Traynor and such a cool indifference from Liara. The soldier had a sneaking suspicion that the specialist's initial blatant interest in her had not gone unnoticed by the archeologist. Which, she could imagine, had probably urged the intel broker to put the fear of God in the poor woman; or, perhaps, just the fear of imminent and painful death if she did not back off. Subtly looking between the cringing specialist and the apathetic archeologist, Shepard realized whatever Liara had done to stake her claim had worked marvelously. The Commander almost smiled at that.

Traynor cleared her throat and focused her attention back on Shepard, "Yes. Right." She cleared her throat again. "Miranda Lawson replied to your urgent message while you were planet side." The Commander missed the slight darkening of Liara's eyes and her sudden interest in the report as she nodded for the specialist to continue. "And, while she would normally be here post haste, her ship is grounded on Illium for repairs. She estimates a week's time of repairs. But, if you go to Illium she'll be at your disposal upon your arrival."

"Very well," Shepard ran a mental itinerary check, "inform Miranda that we are detouring to Illium. Also, put in a formal request for a leave of absence to Alliance Command."

Traynor attempted to keep the surprise out of her voice, "A leave of absence for the entire crew and ship, ma'am?"

Shepard nodded absently, distracted by retreating figure of her agitated lover. "Yes," the soldier threw over her soldier as she barely caught the elevator before it closed with the asari inside. Turning she left final instructions, "And, inform Admiral Hackett we won't be able to make his meeting. Let him know we'll be on Illium if he needs us urgently."

The elevator door slid shut.

"That went as well as expected," Traynor released a long suffering breath.

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Now that they were both in the confined space of the elevator, Shepard could not find the words to make the awkward silence disappear. The energy around them flared at the strain of their self imposed silence. The Commander wanted to bounce on the balls of her feet to release some of the rising tension, but she gritted her teeth and tried to think of something to say.

"Why do you need to see Miranda so urgently?" Liara interrupted Shepard's inner monologue.

The soldier was caught off guard at the soft words; she did not have a ready answer. "I…uh," she stuttered, "need to discuss something concerning Cerberus."

"Cerberus has been defunct since you defeated the Illusive Man," Liara was quick to reply, her voice unusually modulated, "What can Miranda tell you that I couldn't find out for you in five minutes?"

"I…it's," Shepard paused, cringing even before she finished the statement, "uh…it's personal."

The sudden, complete silence that engulfed them was its own entity between them. It snapped up and stole their ability to speak. Shepard immediately wished she could take the words back; unsay what she had so thoughtlessly said. Peripherally, the soldier watched Liara's slender blue hand flutter to her head and absently push on her forehead as if trying to push back a great, painful thing.

Shepard's heart beat painfully against her sternum, and she suddenly wanted Liara to get mad at her and demand an explanation. She just wanted to stop her unpracticed and awful sidestepping. With the words all coming up, with everything on the tip of her tongue, the asari spoke.

"Of course, Commander," Liara's voice was flat, emotionless, lifeless.

Shepard's eyes burned and her throat felt constricted as she watched the archeologist's quick retreat. An oppressive sadness filled the abrupt hollowness in her chest. Taking several steps to follow Liara, Shepard stopped and rubbed a rough hand over her face. She felt she had to fix whatever rift had opened up between the asari and herself, but uncertainty made her weak with fear.

Placing her palm on the on the cool, metal wall Shepard allowed herself to lean heavily against it. Regrouping, the soldier made her way slowly to the Medical Bay. Seeing Doctor Chawkas and EDI at work, she felt the tension straining her body ease a bit. At least, the not knowing would be over soon.

"You should get some rest, Commander," Doctor Chawkas suggested, not looking away from her microscope, "You look exhausted."

"You can tell that without even looking, huh?" Shepard expelled a tired sigh.

Sympathetic eyes met hers, "Go rest, Shepard. EDI and I will have these results tomorrow, at the earliest. There's no use worrying until then."

Rubbing tired eyes, the soldier nodded. "EDI, tell Joker to change our course for Illium," momentarily focusing her attention on EDI, she continued, "I'll be in my quarters if anything urgent arises."

Dragging herself up to her quarters and through the room, Shepard dropped onto the mattress still fully clothed. She did not even bother to take her boots off. The soldier just curled into herself, arms wrapped around the pillow that smelled like Liara, and fell into an exhausted but restless sleep.

* * *

Leaning heavily against the closed door of her makeshift Shadow Broker central hub, Liara closed her eyes against the itching burn of tears. Her head ached with the onslaught of thoughts about love, trust, Shepard, babies all connected in an endless loop that left her mind overwhelmed and her heart empty. Breathing deeply through her nose and exhaling roughly through her mouth, the asari reined in her thoughts.

She refused to allow herself to wallow in self pity any longer.

Pushing herself off the door, she walked determinedly to her work station in front of her wall of monitors. "Glyph," Liara did not even notice the cold, sharp edge to her voice, "I need some privacy."

"Yes, Dr. T'Soni," the drone mechanically answered as it flew to the door locking and encrypting its accessibility before returning to its consule to cut off visual access to the room.

And Liara immersed herself in the secrets of others, in the movement of information, in the whole galaxy outside of the Normandy. The asari opened and directed all feeds to her own systems, routing nothing to Feron except completed data packages. She poured herself into being the Shadow Broker and did not think about the secrets her lover was not sharing with her; she did not think about all the people Shepard was sharing delicate, intimate information with that were not her; she did not think about the breach of trust in their relationship; she did not think of anything. She lost herself in her work until her vision blurred and exhaustion pulled at her frame.

Dropping in a worn-out heap on the mattress she had never slept on in her tenure on the Normandy SR-2, Liara tried not to think about the woman likely sleeping soundly only a few levels above her. She tried not to hurt at whatever this distance that was unconsciously opening up between them. She tried not to cry; but, she found herself angrily wiping away tears that refused to be held in.

She tried to sleep, but found she could not turn off her restless mind despite her physical exhaustion.

* * *

Shepard woke cold, confused and disoriented. Feeling the emptiness of the room, she cracked her eyes open and turned her head to take in her surroundings. She was alone in bed. She was alone in the room.

The human felt a foreign and unwelcome loneliness grip her.

Rolling over the edge of the bed, the soldier stood to her feet groggily. "EDI, where's Liara?" She moved into the adjoining bathroom, opened the sink faucet, and splashed water on her face to wake herself up completely.

"She's in her office," EDI stated, her voice floating through the room.

"Doing what?" Shepard looked at herself in the mirror. There were deep circles under her eyes, she was pale, and her cheeks were gaunt. She looked tired and drained of energy.

"Working, I assume," came the reply.

"What do you mean by _assume_?" Shepard's mind was finally coming fully awake.

"I am apparently being diverted to a visual feed that is looping unimportant data," EDI stated factually, "It depicts Liara working at her consule. I have been trying to bypass it and reengage the visual feeds to the room for several hours."

"What?" The human's brow creased in bewilderment.

"It appears Liara wanted no prying eyes as she worked," EDI clarified, "She has effectively cut off my visual access to her office."

Shepard was out of her quarters and in front of Liara's office in less than a minute. She stood outside of the asari's office for several moments staring dumbfounded: the door was locked. "EDI, open the door to this room," Shepard finally stated, unsure if she should really be asking to be let into a room that was locked.

"That may take some time," EDI sounded a bit impressed.

"What do you mean, EDI?" Perplexed only went so far before it became irritated on the soldier.

"The lock is encrypted similarly to the visual feeds. The system is quite sophisticated." The AI informed the Commander.

"How long will it take you?" Shepard's voice bounced off the walls of the empty mess hall.

"A lot longer than you simply knocking and seeing if Liara will let you in," EDI stated, though not unkindly.

Releasing a frustrated breath, the human pressed the red neon interface. Glyph materialized before her, "What can I do for you, Commander?"

"Can I see Liara?" She asked, her patience wearing thin.

"Of course, Commander," the door opened before her, "you are always welcome."

Stepping into the darkened room, it took a moment for the human's eyes to adjust to the dim light. She heard the quiet slick of the door closing and locking behind her. Moving deeper into the room, Shepard spotted Liara curled on top of the bed at the far end of the space. Just seeing her lover eased the soldier's loneliness and irritation.

As Shepard approached the bed, she noticed shining blue eyes following her movements. The human's steps faltered slightly at the evidence of Liara's crying. Moving to the unoccupied side of the bed, Shepard sat facing the dark wall, her back to Liara's curled form that was facing away from her.

"Why didn't you come up?" Shepard's voice wavered slightly as she asked.

"It sounded like you needed space," Liara answered tiredly, "And, I was busy."

A frown etched itself across the human's face. "Why did you lock access to this room?"

A mirthless chuckle escaped the asari. "I needed some personal time."

Shepard cringed at the word, guilt piercing her. "I should've never said that, Liara. I'm sorry."

"What do you want, Shepard?" The question was soft and tired- almost defeated- as it left blue lips.

The Commander flopped back onto the mattress. Turning and pressing herself flush against Liara, Shepard wrapped her arms around the asari's waist and buried her face in the back of the asari's neck. Liara did not pull away. "I want to fix us; fix whatever this is," she breathed in the comforting and familiar scent of her lover.

_Then trust me_, Liara thought but did not voice. Shepard tightened her hold, seemingly in understanding of the asari's unspoken thought. Breathing deeply, the soldier mustered all her courage. Closing her eyes tightly and burrowing her face into a blue neck, Shepard whispered against soft skin, "I'm pregnant, Liara."

After a protracted silence in which Liara turned in Shepard's arms to face her, the asari kissed the human chastely. "Okay."

At the soft touch of lips, Shepard opened her eyes to stare wide-eyed at Liara. "That's it?" The soldier's voice held surprised puzzlement.

"What were you expecting?" Liara's voice was bordering on amused. Her blue eyes held serious curiosity, though. She was still hurting at the momentary distance and strain that concealing the pregnancy had caused them. She was intensely interested in knowing why the Commander had been so terrified to tell her something that was so very important.

"I don't know," Shepard replied slowly, "but certainly something more explosive." She adjusted as arms circled around her. "This is a bit anticlimactic, to be honest." The soldier looked down into deep blue eyes. "And, now I feel more the fool for not telling you sooner…and for hurting you with it."

Liara placed her head on Shepard's chest and listened to the steady rhythm of her heart. "Why did you think I would react so negatively?"

"Well because I'm pregnant, and you can't make me pregnant," Shepard expelled a puff of air, "at least, not that I know of." Liara did not interject, so she continued. "I thought you'd think I had gone and slept with some guy. I thought you would leave." The asari held the human tighter as the steady rhythm of Shepard's heart lurched and beat loudly against her chest. "I've never been more terrified than of the thought of you leaving," the soldier's voice was rough and low, "I had to be sure before I said anything. I couldn't risk you walking out. I don't think I'd survive without you."

"Shepard," a warm palm cupped the soldier's cheek as steady cobalt eyes anchored her, "the thought never crossed my mind. Not once did I think you'd slept with somebody else. And, the thought of leaving has never been a possibility."

The human's eyebrows rose to her hairline at the statement. Liara rubbed her thumb gently along the soldier's prominent cheekbone. "You are the most incredible human I have ever met," Liara said softly into the small space between them, "but, at the end of the day, you're only human. When we join and meld, we become one consciousness. And while you can resist and make it difficult for me to enter your mind, you cannot stop me if I wanted to push through. You're not asari so you don't have the equipment, in a sense, to keep me out." She carefully studied Shepard's face as she spoke. "So, had you been intimate with someone else, it would be too prominent in your mind for me not to see it. No matter how hard you attempted to conceal it."

Blue fingers smoothed out the creases on the human's brow, "But, more and most importantly, I trust you Shepard. I trust that you love me."

"I do," Shepard held on desperately to Liara. "More than anything."

"But, you're scared," Liara stated gently.

"Terrified," Shepard freely admitted. "Terrified that this baby isn't yours."

"Shepard your race has a good portion of its populace that believes a religion that has their savior born of a virgin," Liara said after a moment's thought. "We are not virgins. We, in fact, engage in frequent intimate relations. Moreover, we link our consciousness and nervous systems together during sex. It's not in the realm of the impossible that this child is ours. And, even if it weren't biologically, it would still be ours," Liara's eyes flitted away from Shepard's, "if you wanted."

_We're really doing this_, Shepard's mind marveled. "I'm equally terrified that it might be yours," the words left the soldier's mouth without permission.

An amused smile pulled at Liara's lips, "Now we know how our parents felt."

Shepard felt the tension she had been carrying for what felt like ages lift off her shoulders. Feeling safe and relaxed in the arms of her lover, the Commander felt sleep immediately tug at her.

_Shepard_, Liara's voice bounced inside the soldier's mind as she looked down into azure eyes drifting closed with exhaustion, _no more secrets. No matter how scared you are; or I am. We trust each other._

_I promise_, Shepard thought back, _full disclosure no matter what the situation_.

Wrapped in each other's arms, the human and asari drifted into restful slumber.


End file.
